Kap & Mina's Sunday Afternoon Tailgate: Week 13

It's true that not all of our recipes are equally well suited to easily feeding the masses. (We leave the logistics of that issue up to the reader, generally.) No one can accuse us of that today, however, as we turn Kap's counter in a "Build-Your-Own-Biscuit Bar" that will feed hungry friends without bankrupting the host.

We also reflect on the NFL's recent announcement concerning the Super Bowl halftime show, and weigh in on which artists we​ would invite. . . .

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"BUILD-YOUR-OWN-BISCUIT BAR"
It's so Good it's Gravy!

Bar-style serving is always a great idea for tailgates because it allows each person to customize their food however they want and because it is easy to prep and clean up afterwards. This southern favorite is perhaps the best of the "bar foods" because it provides such a wide variety of options (from the classic gravy to the sweeter options like honey and jam). If you're looking for a tasty-but-simple biscuit recipe, you could always revisit our "Drop-of-the-Flag Biscuits" from a previous tailgate. Or you could do as we did this time and just use Pillsbury.

​- Kap & Mina

BUILD-YOUR-OWN-BISCUITS
Ground Beef Gravy • Cola-Braised Country Ham • Fried Chicken Cutlets •
Bacon and Eggs • Assorted Butters, Jams, and Sauces

Assorted Jams
​Peach • Fig • Blueberry • Moonshine-Apple

Mina's good friend in Boston is an expert canner, so she usually receives a new flavor of jam around the holidays each year. This seemed like a perfect chance to showcase her abilities. We have fig, peach, and blueberry.

I also added to the mix, some Moonshine-Apple reserves that came from Georgia--another gift from a friend.

Bourbon-Pecan Honey Butter

• 1/2 stick of Butter
• 2 TBSP + 2 tsp. Pecans, chopped
• 1 TBSP Sugar Syrup
• 1/2 TBSP Bourbon
• 1-2 drops of Vanilla Extract
• Orange Zest, to garnish

Stir ingredients into partially softened butter.

Spoon into plastic wrap and roll into a ball. Chill for at least 2 hours before serving.

Herb Compound Butter

• 1 stick of Butter
• 1 tsp. Half-n-Half
• 1 TBSP Olive Oil
• 1 clove Garlic, smashed and finely chopped
• 1 TBSP Rosemary, chopped
• 1 TBSP Thyme, chopped
• 1 TBSP Chives, chopped
• Salt and Pepper, to taste
• Scanty pinch of Lime Zest

Combine all ingredients (except butter) in a food processor and blend until the oil turns green. Stir oil into partially softened butter.

Spoon into plastic wrap and roll into a ball. Chill for at least 2 hours before serving.

Kap's Fried Chicken Cutlets

This recipe is adapted from my fried chicken recipe. I don't brine the cutlets in buttermilk wash, but I do use the same spice mixture.

• 6-8 Chicken Breast Cutlets, boneless and skinless
• ​2 c. House-Autry Chicken Breader
• 1 tsp. Oregano
• 1/2 tsp. Rosemary
• 1/2 tsp. Thyme
• 1 tsp. Chili Powder
• 1 tsp. Ground Sage
• 1 tsp. Basil
• 1 tsp. Marjoram
• 1 tsp. Black Pepper
• 1 tsp. Mustard Powder
• 2 tsp. Season Salt
• 2 TBSP Paprika
• 1 tsp. Onion Powder
• 1 tsp. Garlic Powder
• Pinch of Cayenne Pepper
• Pinch of Ground Cinnamon
• Peanut Oil, for frying

Heat just enough peanut oil to 400 degrees. (Your chicken doesn't need to go swimming to fry well.)
 
When ready to bread, pat chicken dry. Mix breader with spices in a brown paper bag. Add chicken to bag (one piece at a time) and shake until coated.

Fry about 6-8 min. per side (reducing temperature to 360 degrees after flipping halfway) until golden brown and cooked through (without any pink in the center of the chicken).

Serve with your cheese of choice (we used Cheddar), Dijon or honey mustard, and your favorite variety of sliced pickle.

Jezebel Sauce
​

• 8 oz. Apple Jelly
• 8 oz. Pineapple Preserves
• 3 TBSP Prepared Horseradish
• 1 1/2 TBSP Dry Mustard
• 2 tsp. Black Pepper
• Pinch of Salt
• Pinch of Crushed Red Pepper

Mix ingredients well and refrigerate.

This will keep in the refrigerator for at least a month. It is also good poured over cream cheese and eaten with crackers.

Fried Eggs
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Fried eggs don't really need a recipe. Just heat your pan to medium, butter it, and crack your egg. Cook until the white sets and then flip the egg, breaking the yolk as you do so. When both sides of the egg are golden, you're done. Just salt and pepper. Serve with crispy bacon, chopped green onion, butter, hot sauce, and American cheese.

Creamed Ground Beef Gravy

• 1 lb. Ground Beef
• 1 packet Lipton Onion Soup Mix
• 1 clove Garlic, smashed and chopped
• Black pepper, to taste
• 1 10-oz. can Cream of Mushroom Soup
• 1 10-oz. can Cream of Celery Soup
• Milk or Half-n-Half, to desired consistency

Brown ground beef and drain grease. Add onion soup mix, garlic, and pepper. Cook for 1-2 min.

​Add canned soups, and bring to a boil. Simmer on low for 10 min., adding milk until it reaches the consistency you prefer. (I like mine just a bit soupy.)

​Serve with mashed potatoes over biscuits.

This beef gravy recipe is Kap's mother's recipe, and it's Kap's favorite meal of all time! Look forward to seeing more of her cooking in a few weeks!

Cola-Braised Country Ham

• 1-2 large piece of Country Ham (already cured)
• Cola, enough to cover the ham pieces

Boil the ham in the cola in a pan on the stove top until the ham is heated. (You just have to warm it up, as it is already ready to eat.)

Serve with mustard or Jezebel sauce and your choice of cheese (generally, Swiss or American).

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We are big fans of Mead here at The Tailgate--that old-school spirit that's somewhere between wine and liquor. Whenever Kap goes to visit his brother in New Jersey, he always comes back with Dansk Mjød, a variety of mead sold at Joe Canal's liquor outlet (among other places). Mina also has a history with this potent potion, sampling some mead brewed by her friends in their dorm as an undergraduate. Since our favorite football players are really like modern day Vikings (tough, and they take no prisoners), we decided that running a few classic cocktails through the fjord would be a good way to make them gridiron friendly. 

In our opinion, the Manhattan is only improved by replacing the Vermouth with Apple Mead. And while the classic Martini--gin "waved in the general direction of Italy"--has been called the perfect cocktail, in this case, we're waving it at Norway instead by replacing Vermouth with classically flavored Mead. 

- Kap & Mina

MEADHATTAN COCKTAIL

• 1 2/3 oz. Bulleit Rye
• 1 1/3 oz. Dansk Mjød Ribe Mjød (Mead with Apples and Hops)
• 1-2 dashes Orange Bitters
• Apple slice, for garnish
• Orange peel, for garnish

A Manhattan is usually stirred, not shaken, but I can't imagine a Viking stirring a butch drink like this one. So go ahead, fill that shaker with ice and have at it!

MEADTINI

• 2 oz. Old Grove Barrel-Aged Gin (or your favorite barrel-aged gin variety)
• 2/3 oz. Dansk Mjød Viking Blod Mead
• 1 Lemon Peel, expressed and then used for garnish

Stir gin and mead lightly with ice and then strain into a martini glass. Express a lemon peel over the glass by bending it rind-side down (this releases lemon oil onto the top of the drink). Use that lemon peel as a garnish.

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Putting Together a Halftime Spectacular . . .

Last week, the NFL and Pepsi announced that Coldplay will be one of the performers involved in the grand halftime celebration of Super Bowl 50. We know, also, that Bruno Mars is allegedly "curating" the event (and we can assume he'll at least perform a little). The question is, who else will headline and how many performers will it be? We're both big music fans (in case you didn't already know), and so we have some serious thoughts about who should perform. But first, a few pieces of advice to those who are putting together this shindig:

1. Don't Shortchange It: Normally, we'd be totally against a drawn-out halftime show--after all, this is a football game, not a rock concert. That said, this is the 50th Anniversary of the Super Bowl. If you're going to invite a lot of performers (and we think you should), then give them time to perform at least one song, even if it means extending the show a bit longer than normal. Avoid montages! And beware the classic pitfall of quantity at the expense of quality.
2. Embrace Multiple Headliners: Don't make it "Bruno Mars and Guests" (as in past Super Bowls). Let Bruno be emcee (he has the charisma) and put all the artists on equal footing.
3. Aim for Variety: If you're going to have multiple performers, then run the gamut from classic rock to modern pop. Give every fan something to cheer for, regardless of their genre of choice. An homage to Super Bowl halftime shows through the ages, inviting back former performers, might be a good idea, especially if you can get them performing together in interesting combinations. Paul McCartney and Beyoncé. Springsteen and Bon Jovi. Adele and One Republic. A barbershop quartet made up of Kanye, Bono, Kanye's ego, and Bono's ego. Fifteen performers all singing "Hey, Jude." Whatever. Just make keep it interesting and give the fans something to talk about around the water cooler on Monday (besides the game).
4. Bring the Stars: Look, the crux of all of these suggestions has basically been "dream big." No one stays glued to the television to see Maroon 5, Nickelback, or Macklemore. (Sorry, fans of those performers.) If you are going to do this, do it right and find a way to bring the top performers together. If you want to send out a marching band to kick things off as part of some nod toward heritage, fine. If you want to bring in the Army/Navy/Marine drill team to celebrate our patriotism, go for it. But keep the has-been and never-was musicians at home.
5. Remember the Music: Katy Perry's show was entertaining last year, in no small part because of its spectacle, its choreography, its pyrotechnics, and the charisma of the performance. That said, if you're bringing together a bunch of stars on one stage, the challenge to create continuity becomes that much more difficult. Besides, there's something to be said for it sounding great (not just looking great).
6. Preserve the Mystery: No more announcements, okay? Let us be surprised by who shows up to play. Keep the excitement building between now and February 7.

So who should Bruno Mars invite to perform? We have a few ideas . . . .

Kap

Mina

AC/DC

They've never done the Super Bowl before, and they are arguably the hardest rocking band the world has ever seen. Plus, the current health issues of the stars shouldn't be an issue because they'd only be on for a short amount of time. For those about to rock . . . .

Halestorm

They aren't a household name, but anyone who thinks that women can't rock hard ought to check out Lzzy Hale. She's got the swagger and the pipes to fill a stadium.

Queen

This is controversial, I know. And it's possible that we would only be remembering what who was missing the whole time. That said, word is that Adam Lambert does a respectable job filling Freddy Mercury's shoes, and it would put a band that was basically made for stadium rock on the stage it deserves.

Prince

If you're going to have a Queen, you might as well have a Prince, as well. His Royal Purpleness did a great job a few years back. He's funky, innovative, and sure to get people on their feet.

Taylor Swift

​It's no real secret that I don't like Taylor Swift's body of work. (It's the annoying music jilted marmosets would sing at each other if they had human tongues and no sense of shame.) That said, this isn't all about what I want. It's about what the people want! And the people want Taylor. She's a bona fide super star, the voice of her generation. A Super Bowl appearance would make a lot of people happy.

Besides, she'd be a million times better than the anthropomorphic vomit monster that calls itself "Miley Cyrus" (and sometimes also "Justin Bieber").

Foo Fighters

I've saved the best for last.

I used to think that the Foo Fighters were just a lame-post grunge band trying to capitalize off Grohl's time as the drummer for Nirvana. What can I say, I was a stupid kid? In reality, they are the coolest rock band on the face of the planet and they respect their fans like none other.

Plus, they can make up a song on the spot, if need be.

Plus, they may let you play drums if they show up.

Plus, if necessary, Dave Grohl can beat what appears to be Carson Palmer in a drum battle.

Plus, if Dave Grohl gets injured, you know they'll still finish the show.

'Nuff said.

​Bon Jovi 

I saw Bon Jovi at MetLife Stadium--home of the Giants--during the summer of 2010, and it was spectacular. (I also met Jon Bon Jovi in an elevator at the Plaza Hotel when I was sixteen. He had beautiful skin, but that's another story.) Bon Jovi's music is really anthemic, and it would play perfectly for that huge audience.  We could really rock out in February if Bruno Mars brought Bon Jovi on board.

Taylor Swift

Ignore Kap. Or at least recognize that jilted marmosets sound amazing. I want Tay-Tay.  We all want Tay-Tay.  BRING ME MY TAY-TAY NOW!!!!!. 

Kanye West

I don't think our loyal readers know how much I love Kanye West. My students do know, though. I. Love. Kanye. West. I can't even tell you how much I love Kanye West. And a stadium is one of the few places large enough to support Kanye, AND to airlift his ego right over the top to be caressed by thousands of fans. Kanye's ego would bring the house down, there's no question about it. 

Prince

The Purple One is a great singer and an incredible guitar player, but what really makes me want him for the show is the fact that he's an exceptional showman. And as Kap mentioned, that can really make or break Halftime. 

Adele

​Hello. It's Me. And there's no one as hot as Adele right now, so she has my vote for the show. No one would dare get up from the couch. Adele has been bringing families together since before Thanksgiving, and I know she could do the same for our biggest television event of the year.  

Foo Fighters

I'm with Kap on this one. There's no one out there who rocks on the same level as the Foo Fighters. Ever since I first heard "Everlong" back in college, I've never been able to get enough of the Foo Fighters, and unlike some other bands, the years have been kind to them. The Foo Fighters are only getting better (and more badass) over time. They'd be a welcome addition to any Super Bowl  halftime show, and I'd be glued to the television to watch. 

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PREDICTION

Loss to Pats

Don't let the Pats' loss to the Broncos last week fool you. It's only going to piss them off. There is no chance whatsoever that the Eagles win this game. The only way it happens is if the entire Patriots team comes down with the flu. The highest NFL score ever recorded was 72 points by the Redskins in 1966. If Belicheck doesn't call off the dogs, the Pats might just score twice that against an Eagles squad that looks seriously busted.


Kap's Season Record: Still 4-7

In preparing for Eagles, I'm willing to bet Tom Brady took a passing glance at last week's game film, yawned, and said, "I got this."

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Tune in next week for Spec-tater Skins!

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All recipes listed above come from our own imaginations unless otherwise indicated. If you try one of these recipes in your own kitchen, leave a comment below and tell us how it goes. And, of course, share your modifications, enhancements, improvements, etc.