Kap & Mina's Sunday Afternoon Tailgate: Week 10

John Madden--man who knows both good football and good eats--posing in front of the most famous truck in NFL history

From our Week 3 Glamgate to our Week 7 foray into French Cuisine, we've done a lot of fancy cooking this season at The Tailgate. This week we're taking it in the other direction, challenging ourselves to create tasty tailgate treats using only the ingredients that can be found at our local gas station quick mart or truck stop.

Before you write this off as a joke or gimmick, consider that Kap is a big fan of travel and an equally big fan of the foods you can find on the shelf at these inauspicious little marts. There's something special about sitting on the curb, eating a hot dog that's been turning on a roller al day, and watching the traffic roar by, before jumping back behind the wheel for the next leg of your journey. And that's what we're going to attempt to recreate here this week . . . .

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"KWIK-E-MART CHALLENGE!"
Tailgate Cuisine Straight from the Local Convenience Store

The story for this is actually kind of funny. I participated in a scavenger hunt at a work retreat not that long ago and got to pick from a collection of hilariously silly prizes. I chose the one thing no one else wanted, which of course was a can of potted meat. This ambiguous meat product poses a certain challenge. It's not a cooking staple for me, though I do remember some good dips my mom used to make with canned corned beef. So I'm going to channel that spirit and see what I can do here with a dip that may look like roadkill, but hopefully tastes far better. 

​- Kap

ROADKILL DIP

• 2 3 oz. cans ​Potted Meat
• 1 5 oz. jar of Old English Cheese Spread
• 1/2 large deli-style Hot Pickle, chopped
• 1 condiment packet of Minced Onion (or 1 TBSP rehydrated onion)
• 1 condiment packet of Jalapeno Relish (or 1 Jalapeno, finely chopped)
• 3-5 long dashes of Hot Sauce
• 1/2 tsp. Dry Mustard
• 1 tsp. Worcestershire Sauce
• 1 tsp. of Prepared Horseradish Sauce
• Salt and Pepper, to taste (if you're aiming to be extra authentic, use those little paper packets you can get at fast food restaurants)
• Sprig of Rosemary (optional)
• Crackers, for serving

Combine all ingredients well and chill for 3 hours. Serve with crackers. Behold the wonder--it's pretty tasty!

A couple of weeks ago, I found myself fixing a favorite poor-college-kid dinner: two soft tortilla shells, a shredded taco cheese blend sandwiched in the middle, and thrown in the microwave for 20 seconds.  It made me kind of nostalgic for those super cheap eats that I subsisted on in Boston (when my grocery store was usually the corner 7-11). So in that vein, here are the quickest and dirtiest nachos this tailgate will ever see.  All of the ingredients here are tasty on their own, even if--like Kap's dish--they're not the most beautiful.  Most of this recipe is based on eyeballing your portions to what you like, so be flexible.  

​- Mina

​TRASHY NACHOS

• 1 Plate-full of Tortilla chips, topped with the following: 
• Mozzarella, Cheddar, and Pepper Jack Cheeses, sliced
• Cheese Dip
• Bean Dip
• Hot Chunky Salsa
• Hot Dogs, chopped
• Pepperoni, chopped
• Bacon, chopped
• Dill Pickle Flavored Potato Chips, crushed
• Salsa-Flavored Pringles Tortilla Chips, crushed
• Pork Rinds, crushed
• Bloody Mary Flavored Peanuts

​Heat cheese dip, and bean dip in microwave. Place sliced cheeses on tortilla chips, and melt cheese onto chips in the microwave. Top the chips and cheese with the dips first, and then spread all of the other ingredients on top of the melted cheese and chips.  

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I had a hard time figuring out a dish for today's tailgate. When wandering the aisles of our local quick-mart, I came across their limited canned goods section, and there was Chef Boyardee staring me in the face. From there, it was just figuring out what to crust it with.

You could dip this in Ranch dressing, but I thought the a jerky bolognese would add a little class to this recipe.

​- Kap
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FRITO FRIED RAVIOLI
w/Jerky Bolognese

• 2 15 oz. cans of Beef Ravioli
• 1 bag Chili Cheese Fritos (crushed)
• Oil, for frying (no, not motor oil!)
• Fresh Parsley, chopped for garnish (optional)
• Grated Parmesan, for garnish (optional)
• Ranch Dressing (optional)
• Jerky Bolognese (recipe below)

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​Heat oil in a pan over medium heat.

Drain Ravioli from sauce (reserving sauce) and lightly wash in a colander. 

Transfer the crushed fritos to a shallow bowl or plate, and roll the ravioli in the crushed fritos while still wet, until fully coated.

Fry the ravioli until golden brown (about 4-5 min.) and remove from oil to a plate with paper towels to soak up excess oil.

Top with parsley and serve with Cheesy Ranch Dipping Sauce. 

Cheesy Ranch Dipping Sauce

• Reserved Tomato Sauce from the ravioli
• 4-5 Pieces of Plain Jerky (use a good brand/cut)
• Fresh Basil (optional)
• Fresh Oregano (optional)

​Combine cheese sauce and ranch dressing and mix well.

One of our favorite guilty pleasures is stopping in for a twinkie or a ho-ho, a ding dong or a moon pie. Gas stations have all the best snack cakes. Kap's grandfather drove a Wonder Bread truck, so he's partial to Hostess products, but a good Drake cake can be heaven on wheels, too. The idea of a trifle is that you hold cake and fruit between layers of custard. Seems simple enough.

Because there's only two of us this week, we are making these individual size. That said, you can multiply the recipe to make a standard size trifle, if you are feeding a crowd. (This recipe makes one mini-trifle.)

- Kap & Mina

TRUCK STOP TRIFLES

Kap's Version

• 1 Packet of your favorite snack cake (or you can mix and match cakes from two different packs, like I did) 
• 1 tsp. Orange Liquor (opt.)

• 1 single-serve pudding cup (pick your favorite flavor--I went with classic Vanilla)

• 1/2 Banana, sliced
• 5-6 Maraschino Cherries, sliced in half
• Whipped Cream
• Hershey's chocolate syrup
• Brownie Bark, crushed

Put two pieces of snack cake in the bottom of a small bowl, breaking slightly. pour in orange liquor, if using. Cover with a layer of pudding and a layer of banana slices. Lightly sprinkle with a layer of crushed brownie bark. Add your next snack cake and repeat the process by covering with pudding and more bananas. Top with whipped cream, syrup, cherries, and crushed up brownie bark.

Note: The possibilities for toppings here are endless--just use your favorite nuts, trail mix, candy . . . even plain potato chips.

Mina's Version

• 1 tsp. Kahlua 
• 1 tsp. Frangelico
• Italian Ladyfingers
• Cream Cheese Cake, sliced
• Half a Banana, sliced
• Chocolate Edible Cookie Dough
• Pumpkin Fluff
• Ice Cream
• Whipped Cream
• Hershey's Chocolate Bar, melted
• Werther's Hard Caramel Candies, crushed
• Maraschino Cherry

​Break apart lady fingers in small bowl, and soak in liquor(s). Line bottom of small mason jar with lady fingers.  Spread a layer of pumpkin fluff on top of the lady fingers.  Spread banana slices on top of fluff add a scoop of ice cream, then top with slices of cream cheese cake.  Spread cookie dough on top of cake, and then add more ice cream, and a final layer of banana slices.  Top the whole dessert with whipped cream. Drizzle melted chocolate on top of whipped cream, and then sprinkle with caramel candy pieces, and add a maraschino cherry. 

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Let me say this first, on behalf of both me and Mina: we aren't endorsing drinking and driving. These cocktails are the ones you pick up the ingredients for on your last leg of the trip and then make at home once you've put your ride to sleep. 

I call this one the "slurrrrrpee" because it packs a punch and it might make you a little less articulate than normal.

​- Kap

SLURRRRRPEE

• 12oz. of your favorite flavor of Frozen Crushed Ice Drink (we used the classic Blue Raspberry)
• 1 1/4 oz. Vodka
• 2 1/2 oz. Pineapple Juice
• 1 1/2 oz. Sour Mix
• A splash of Blue Curacao
• Maraschino Cherry, for garnish

Combine the frozen drink, vodka, pineapple juice, and sour mix in a frosted glass, and stir to blend. Drizzle the blue curacao down the side of the glass, and garnish with a cherry.

For me, the symbol of a truly decadent Sunday brunch is always a Bellini. The thing is, Kap doesn't really like peaches, and they aren't in season. But one thing you can always find at any truck stop or convenience store is a canned fruit cocktail. If you blend up the fruit in a food processor, and pick up some quick-mart tiny wines like we did, you end up having a pretty fun twist on this ultra chic drink.  

​- Mina

TRUCKER'S BELLINI

• Single-Serve Wine (these can usually be found near the front register) or 6 oz. Boxed Wine
• 1 7 oz. can Fruit Cocktail
• 1 20 oz. bottle of Mountain Dew variety (we recommend Dewshine or White Out)

In a blender, puree the canned fruit cocktail.

Add 1 1/2 oz. of the fruit cocktail puree to the bottom of a Pilsner glass, travel mug, or Styrofoam cola cup (no champagne flutes here!)

Gently pour in 5 oz. of wine (we used a fizzy red sangria, rather than the traditional white) and stir lightly. Top with the Mountain Dew soda, and enjoy!

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PREDICTION

Win vs. Dolphins!

It's true that I have yet to pick the Eagles to lose, but their schedule really has been favorable this year. The 3-5 Dolphins are another team that, on paper, should be a fairly easy win, but we all know that games are not played on paper, and this season, no victory is guaranteed for The Birds. I'm picking the Eagles to win because Tannehill's stock as a quarterback has been up and down all season, Ndamukong Suh has been a shadow of his former self this season, the Fins' offensive line is pretty banged up, and their secondary has been almost non-existent. (That said, many of these same concerns could be raised about Philly.)
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Can Suh keep his nose clean this week? After some questionable early season penalties, the Dolphins hope so.

Kap's Season Record: 4-4 (Much like the Eagles, I continue to hover right around .500 this season)

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Tune in next week for pics from our Thanksgiving Tables!

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All recipes listed above come from our own imaginations unless otherwise indicated. If you try one of these recipes in your own kitchen, leave a comment below and tell us how it goes. And, of course, share your modifications, enhancements, improvements, etc.