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​A Creative Craft Blog

From the mind of Jason Kapcala comes an eclectic journal dedicated to the study of creative writing, rock music, tailgating, and other miscellany. The musings, meditations, contemplations, and ruminations expressed here are my own unless otherwise indicated. Please feel free to share your comments, thoughts, and opinions, but do so respectfully and intelligently.
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Kap & Mina's Sunday Afternoon Tailgate: NFL Draft Showdown! (2015)

5/9/2015

2 Comments

 
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It's finally here! The moment Sunday Afternoon Tailgate fans have been waiting for: The 2015 Tailgate Draft Showdown, an intense rematch between bitter rivals Dominique "The Gerbil" Bruno and "Big Game" Jason Kapcala. Last season, Kapcala edged out Bruno by a mere two points, and now The Gerbil has stuffed her pouches full with thoughts of revenge. Two will enter our kitchen coliseum, but only one will emerge victorious!

Of course, no draft special is complete without top-to-bottom coverage. Fortunately, we've got the best color commentary crew available on short notice--Mark Maxwell and "The Coach" Brolin Schutlouszki, along with gameday "meat-eorologist" Tanya Pastafagioli and sideline reporter Courtney Bromein. . . .
Mark Maxwell
"The Coach" Brolin Schutlouzski
Tanya Pastafagioli
Courtney Bromein


Our Competitors . . .

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Dominique Bruno

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Nickname: The Angry Gerbil

Height: Shorter than you

Weight: A gentleman never asks

40-time: Impossible to tell because she only ever runs on her wheel

Culinary Experience: Almost got kicked out of a cooking class for wearing the colander like a helmet

Motto: "What does 'D Hashtag' mean?"

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D-Hashtag . . . D-Hashtag?

Jason Kapcala

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Nickname: Big Game

Height: 6'3"

Weight: Two Minas and a medium-sized dog

40-Time: Considerably faster than his 80 time

Culinary Experience: Watched a cooking show once until the angry British man frightened him and he had to turn it off

Motto: "Add bacon, to taste."

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Always use a condiment

The Rules . . .

The competition committee has approved new rules for this year designed to raise the level of competition . . .

Scouting

Prior to the draft, participants will collaborate to make a master list of all meats, starches, produce, and dairy products that will be eligible for the upcoming draft.

Draft Order

The draft begins with a coin toss. The winner of this toss gets to choose whether he or she would prefer to choose first or cook first.

  • WINNER: Dominique Bruno (elects to pick first; Kapcala elects to cook second)

Selection Process

  • Each competitor will start by rolling two dice. The sum of these dice determines the number of ingredients that competitor may use in his or her dish (ranging from 2 to 12). 
  • Supplemental Pick Rule #1: Thanks to his victory in the Boston College-Penn State wager, Jason Kapcala may choose either an extra ingredient or the option to pick an additional ingredient for Dominique Bruno. This decision will be made immediately after the rolling of the dice.
  • Supplemental Pick Rule #2: Any competitor who rolls a double (two of the same number) may choose either an extra ingredient or the option to pick an additional ingredient for the other person. This decision will be made immediately upon the rolling of the double.
  • Once the selection order is complete, each competitor will draft an ingredient from the list, alternating according to their draft order until each has exhausted his or her allotted picks.
  • Each participant receives 90 seconds in each round to make a selection. If a selection isn't made in 90 seconds, the pick is not forfeited, but the other competitor may move ahead in the picking order. After which, the clock resets.
  • Once an ingredient has been selected, it is no longer available for selection by the other competitor.

The Showdown

  • Each competitor must use all selected ingredients to create a single dish.
  • Amount/Number/Quantity of each item is up to each participant's discretion (though trace amounts, such as one grain of rice, is considered unsportsmanlike conduct).
  • Type/genre of the dish is up to the participant.
  • Any cooking method may be employed.
  • Participants may use any condiments or spices in or on their dish (or in combination to make a sauce or garnish for their dish). They cannot add additional meats, starches, produce, or dairy items. Special allowances (e.g. butter when used as a condiment; flour when used as a thickening agent) and borderline cases (such as salsa) will be agreed upon before cooking commences.
  • Participants will have 5 minutes to organize their kitchen, followed by 75 minutes to prepare their dishes. This does not include bake or cook time. In other words, a cook must "walk away" from the kitchen after 75 minutes, but items may continue to cook indefinitely. After the dishes are done cooking, competitors receive 75 seconds to assemble or plate their dishes.

Judging

The merits of each dish will be evaluated based on the following criteria:

  • Creativity/Originality (40%) -- How unique or inventive was the tailgater's recipe? How well did he/she integrate the ingredients?

  • Flavor/Taste (40%) -- How appetizing and enjoyable was the dish?

  • Presentation (20%) -- How attractive, aromatic, and visually appealing was the dish?

The Picks . . .

Mina Bruno

Number of Picks: 11

  1. Pork Chop
  2. Plums
  3. Fava Beans
  4. Red Wine
  5. Orecchiette Pasta
  6. Mozzarella Cheese
  7. Walnuts
  8. Chicken Broth
  9. Spinach
  10. Garlic
  11. Fennel
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Jason Kapcala

Number of Picks: 9

  1. Strawberry Cream Cheese
  2. Bacon
  3. Ground Round
  4. Mashed Potatoes (pre-made)
  5. Oreo Cookies
  6. Eggs
  7. Cheddar Cheese
  8. Panko Bread Crumbs
  9. Green Onions

The Dishes . . . 

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PLUM-CRAZY, NUTTY PORK 'N PASTA
Tailgater: Dominique Bruno

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My philosophy during this year's nail-biter of a draft was simply not to pick ingredients that I had chosen last year! After my first pick, I was starting to form an idea of the kind of dish I wanted to make. The result tastes great, is easy to make, and is fantastic as leftovers.  "The Coach" credited my draft picks as having good chemistry, and I have to agree: some flavors are just well-matched.  I was also able to do a nod to my sort of rustic cooking sensibility, which I know pleased Tanya who loves all things Italian (and a good pork).  

- Mina







  •  2 TBSP Olive Oil
  • 3 Pork Chops, cubed (about 3 c. of meat) 
  • 2 medium-sized Plums, diced
  • 16 oz. can of Fava, or Butter Beans
  • 2 c. Red Wine
  • 2 c. Orecchiette Pasta
  • 5 oz. Fresh Mozzarella Cheese, chopped 
  • 4 oz. Walnuts, chopped
  • 1/2 c. Chicken Broth
  • 3 handfuls Fresh Baby Spinach
  • 2 cloves Garlic
  • 2 c. Fresh Fennel, chopped
  • Salt, to taste
  • Hot Red Pepper Flakes, to taste
  • Italian Seasoning, to taste


Heat olive oil and garlic in a non-stick pan.  Add pork.  Cook for five minutes. Add a pinch or two of Italian seasoning, and hot pepper flakes.  


Stir in plums, fava beans, fennel, wine, and chicken broth.  Heat and salt pasta water in another pot. Let pan simmer until pork is cooked through.  Stir in Walnuts, and cook until baby spinach until it's wilted.  Remove from heat. 

Cook pasta until firm (al dente). Pour pork mixture over the pasta, and then sprinkle with cheese chunks, letting the cheese melt a little bit before serving. 

ENJOY!

MALT SHOP TRIO
Tailgater: Jason Kapcala

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I knew from the start that I wanted to do this fun concept--the old-fashioned dime-store on the corner where you could get burgers, fries, and shakes--but there was no way that was going to happen with a limited number of ingredients, so I got creative, wanted to serve these as a small finger-food trio. The kind of balls you can eat with a toothpick and dip into some sauces and still not feel pretentious.

I needed at least 9 ingredients to make this concept a reality, and I just so happened to get lucky! I also knew my crazy ingredients list would freak the judges (and the broadcast team!) out, which I was really happy about!

In the end, I was really proud of this trio (especially after I fought through a nasty blender-related injury, cooking one-handed!) There are a few tweaks I would make if I had more ingredients (see my notes below), but these were a bit hit (and like Mina's dish) even better the next day. (Even cold!)

- Kap
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Cheeseburger Balls (with "Special Sauce")

  • PAM Cooking Spray
  • 1 lb. Lean Ground Beef
  • 1/2 tsp. Garlic Powder
  • 1 egg, beaten
  • 1/4 tsp. Salt
  • 1/4 tsp. Black Pepper
  • 1/2 tsp. Worcestershire Sauce
  • 3/4 c. Panko
  • 3/4 c. Cheddar Cheese, shredded
  • 4-6 slices of Bacon, cooked, drained, and chopped
  • 3-4 Green Onions, chopped

 

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Mix all ingredients in a bowl and form small balls (about one inch in diameter). 

Place on a greased baking sheet about one inch apart, and bake for 15 minutes.

Serve with "Special Sauce" (recipe below).



"Special Sauce":
  • 1/3 c. Mayo
  • 3 TBSP Ketchup
  • 2 TBSP Sweet Pickle Relish
  • 2 tsp. Sugar
  • 1 tsp. White Vinegar
  • 1 tsp. Onion Powder
  • Salt and Pepper, to taste
  • Squirt of Sriracha
  • Chives, for garnish


Mix all ingredients well.


Kap's Notes: I was happy with the cheeseburger balls, but I would add a little fresh bread (lightly toasted) instead of Panko if I could, the way I do with regular meatballs to make them moist. I might also add a couple tsp. of Ketchup to the balls themselves to add that flavor. I was worried the balls wouldn't get that nice crispy crust if I didn't fry them, but they actually cooked perfectly in the oven (and they're healthier that way, too!).



"French Fry" Balls (with Sriracha Ketchup)

  • PAM Cooking Spray
  • 1 container of Bob Evan's Homestyle Mashed Potatoes
  • 1 egg, beaten
  • 1/2 c. Cheddar Cheese, shredded
  • 1/2 c. Panko, add more as needed
  • 1/4 tsp. Garlic Powder
  • 3-4 Green Onions, chopped
  • A dash of Tabasco
  • Salt and Pepper, to taste


Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Mix all ingredients, adding additional breadcrumbs as necessary until thickened.

Spoon out the mixture 2 TBSP at a time, rolling each serving into a ball and dredging in additional bread crumbs to coat.

Line on a greased baking sheet, about one inch apart. Bake for 20 minutes.

Salt to taste. Serve with Sriracha Ketchup (recipe below)



Sriracha Ketchup
  • 1/2 c. Ketchup
  • 2 TBSP Sriracha
  • 1 TBSP Honey
  • 2 tsp. Lime Juice
  • 1 tsp. Cilantro, chopped
  • 1 tsp. Rice Wine Vinegar
  • 1/2 TBSP Paprika
  • Black Pepper, to taste
  • 1/2 tsp. Garlic Powder (or 1 tsp. Garlic, chopped)


Mix ingredients well.


Kap's Notes: I wanted to do something unique with the sauce, and sriracha is big right now. It's a choice that paid off. The difficult thing about this recipe is getting it to keep its shape. (You're going to need to add more bread crumbs than I suggest here; I just don't have an exact measurement.) If I did this again, I might add some Parmesan cheese to the mix, too. As a solo dish, you could have fun with making "loaded" baked potatoes, too. Probably, the biggest change I would make is that I would make my own potatoes and control the consistency that way. (As you can see, with limited ingredients, I had to finesse the rules a bit by using Bob Evan's, which are also quite tasty.)


"Milk Shake" Balls (with Chocolate Sauce)

  • 1 8-oz. container of Philadelphia Strawberry Cream Cheese
  • 1 bag of Oreo Cookies, crushed (about 34 cookies)
  • A jar of your favorite Hot Fudge (I used Graeter's Bittersweet Chocolate Sauce)


Crush the cookies by hand or in a blender until they reach the desired consistency. (I like mine a bit chunky, but fine works, too.) Reserve about 1/4 to 1/3 of the mix.

Combine unreserved Oreos with cream cheese and roll into ball shapes (about 2 TBSP of mix). Add more cookie crumbs if needed. Dredge heavily in reserved Oreo crumbs.

Place the balls on wax paper in the freezer for 10 minutes (this step is really important), and then transfer to the refrigerator for at least an hour to harden.

Serve with hot fudge.


Kap's Notes: I couldn't decide on a strawberry "shake" or a chocolate, so I had both! These balls may feel a bit soft, too, as you are forming them, so you might want to keep a second pack of Oreos on hand, just in case you want to add some bulk to the mix. That said, if you just keep molding them, they eventually will hold their shape well. The next day, they will retain their shape especially well (though they will lose a bit of their crunch). There isn't anything I would change about this decadent dessert--though I might try adding mini chocolate chips in the future, just to see how that tastes.

The Results . . .

It was a close, close competition, but the judges did a careful job evaluating each dish and, in the process, offered some praise for both competitors' imaginations!

Dominique Bruno
(460/500)

Creativity/Originality (240 pts.): 188


Flavor/Taste (240 pts.): 176


Presentation (120 pts.): 96
Perfectly cooked (even without a bone in the chop). It was juicy, not dried out from the wine. It was smart to keep the fat on the meat.

With beans and pasta, there's a lot of starch here, but it doesn't taste like starch overload. It worked!

Excellent presentation, but the plum gets lost a bit in the mix.

Inventive, but is it truly tailgate-y?

A really great set of ingredients. I loved the plums with the pork and red wine and nuts and spinach! It had a nice lightness of color to it.

I enjoyed the texture of the different ingredients. I would have liked a bit more salt, yet the heat from the pepper flakes almost substituted for that, in my opinion.

Beautifully plated with a lovely spinach leaf, mozzarella ball garnish on the side. Purple was the color of the dish with pinkish pasta--I might not have put the white pasta in with the rest of the ingredients but cooked it separately, then placed the pork/plum contents on top for color contrast.

The cheese didn't really mesh in--it seemed like an aside.

A crazy, nutty porking this fine Sunday!

The pasta was cooked just right. Plum was a great choice. The pork was not dry, and it was salted just right for me, though I thought there was a bit too much red pepper flake for my taste.

I'm not a big fan of meat, generally--pork is the other white meat, but it is a nice pink here--but what I started to say: not eating lots of meat usually, I found the balance off for my palate. I wanted more walnuts, more spinach, and more plums, but that's probably my own taste preference.

4 basil leaves and 2 balls--why not 5 and 3?

What a great, creative dish. When no one was looking, I licked my bowl!

The dish was all-inclusive--meat, beans, nuts, cheese, pasta, vegetables, and fruit. A delightfully successful combination of so many food categories.

I've read we have someting like 10,000 tastebuds. All of mine were hopping after eating this dish!

Jason Kapcala
(460/500)

Creativity/Originality (240 pts.): 200


Flavor/Taste (240 pts.): 164


Presentation (120 pts.): 96
This was a clever approach. The meat (burger), potato (fries), and dessert (shake) balls was a brilliant concept.

Each had its own good flavor, my favorite being the oreo-cookie/strawberry cream cheese. My least favorite was the mashed potato. Yet, the latter was appropriately understated since potatoes really should go with everything.

The oreo cookie had crunch but there was a surprising softness with the cream cheese.

The balls were neatly laid on the plate but the 3 balls of food needed something else to make it look more appealing.

I didn't use the sauces, but even without sauces, each ball was delicious. A very creative theme that turned out well.

The meatballs were super, excellent! The oreo balls were a treat--very good, and the chocolate sauce (though store bought) was an excellent accompaniment. The potato balls had a nice crisp to them. I would have preferred it if they were smaller so the crisp-to-mash ratio would be more balanced (i.e. crispier).

It makes me want to put on a poodle skirt!

What an inspired version of a malt-shop lunch! My favorite of the sauces was the "special" sauce, and I loved the dessert ball.

Kapcala showed the heart of a real champion, cooking with a maimed hand.

I liked the minimalist approach to plating with the three balls, each with its own sauce.

I thought the oreo balls and potato balls were a bit soft--a little more crumb in each would have made them crunchier.

I don't know about the food, but he has beautiful eyes.










 
And so, in the end, after shedding their blood, sweat, and tears, both competitors walked away dissatisfied, having fought to a draw (thanks to the fact that Sunday Afternoon Tailgate Draft has no tie-breaking procedures in place), both vowing to return next year for revenge, and another shot at glory.

A Special Thank You to Our Judges!

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it looks like Josef Stalin, Super Mario, and Groucho Marx all came to lunch . . . .

Prediction: Kevin White, WR (West Virginia)

This is still a tailgate, and so it's up to me to try and make a pick on who the Eagles will select in this year's draft. I've been saying all along that the Eagles would never spend the number of picks it would take to move up and pick Oregon quarterback Marcus Mariota. Chip Kelly has since traded away Nick Foles for Sam Bradford, and has gone on record to say that he would not mortgage the team's future on one players. Still, many folks believe that Bradford is merely trade-bait, and that Mariota is still in Kelly's cross hairs.

Chip Kelly is always unpredictable, and he's nearly incapable of passing on former Oregon players--it's practically a fetish. He has also shown that he's not afraid to take risks (trading Shady McCoy, Nick Foles, and Desean Jackson the year before, as well as letting Jeremy Maclin get away). With carte blanche control over the roster, he may be tempted to take his biggest gamble yet with Mariota. If it happens, it'll be the decision that either makes or breaks his career in Philly.

That said, the Eagles are short on receivers (numerically and by stature), and it's well established that Kelly loves big physical receivers who can block downfield. At 6'3" 215 lbs. Kevin White is a giant among men. Pair that with exceptional strength and speed (he did 23 bench press reps and ran a 4.35 40-yard dash at the combine) and a nasty attitude, and he might be just the game-changer that the Eagles are looking for.


Note: Obviously, the draft is over at this point, and the Eagles did not take White (or Mariota), but they did take a wide receiver, so I was kind of right!

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All recipes listed above come from our own imaginations unless otherwise indicated. If you try one of these recipes in your own kitchen, leave a comment below and tell us how it goes. And, of course, share your modifications, enhancements, improvements, etc.


See you next Fall for another great season of Sunday Afternoon Tailgate!
And don't forget to check back soon for our Behind-the-Scenes blog post "The Making of  Sunday Afternoon Tailgate Draft"

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2 Comments
Susan Truxell Sauter
5/10/2015 05:24:10 am

It's Sunday morning and re-living the Sunday afternoon tailgate was a great way to start the day, needing no antacids. I was creeped out by that meaty, beefy arm on the cutting board, Kapcala. And Coach Mina's beefed-up voice was juicy. Too many brilliant details to comment on. Kudos to the cooks.

Reply
Kap link
5/15/2015 12:29:39 pm

Thanks, Susan! It was a pleasure. Already looking forward to next year!

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